today wasn't a really good day. In the past, i would use to call him up, cry in front of him and just wish to be consoled by him. But now, i know i cannot do it anymore. I was really feeling very sad today. End of year exams are coming soon. I have only a few more days left to my graduation service. Sec 2 end of year exams is just next week. I do not even know if shaun is going back to take the exams anot. Anthony has external suspension, i am also wondering if he would go take the exams. I hope they would, though shaun says" i think i will" and april doubts that shaun would go back to take the exams. I really hope something would just wake them up, and help them to get to the exam hall, sit down calmly and do the papers and pass with flying colours. (:

I was feeling kinda blue in the evening, was crossing the zebra crossing, and i was busy searching for my phone as stephy is calling me. I was walking slowly across the zebra crossing. Before i crossed the zebra crossing, THERE WERE NO CARS AT ALL. I slowly walked to the middle and noticed that a beige colour around brown colour car was speeding towards me, and the driver kept honking at me, it was not as if i stood in the middle of the road or anything. I WAS CROSSING THE ROAD! he was so angry with me, he even pointed middle finger at me. Tears just flowed out of my eyes so easily as i stood at the traffic light trying to look at who called me. I really feel so sick and tired of life. I have so many things on my mind. IN FACT, too much! im deprived from happiness. RAHHS!!

I really am very grateful to that guy who asked me if i needed tissue. The way he asked was kinda cute. He turned and look at me, then he turned at look at the traffic light. He then turned back and look at me again, he then decided to take out his packet of tissue. - ____ - i nearly wanted to just tug on his sleeve and cry!! I really feel so lost. Just so lost and helpless. Somehow, i just tried everything already. EVERYTHING TO TRY PERSUADE SHAUN TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL! I JUST REALLY WISH HE WOULD GO BACK TO SCHOOL! EVEN IF ITS JUST FOR ONE DAY!! i really feel like im somehow like lost in the middle of pacific ocean or something similar. ):