im effing tired and sick of all the naggings i have! Its like as though i don't have a mind of MY own! everyone are making decisions for me. and i'll just say " i don't know!"

LIKE YEA! i don't know where i wanna go after O levels! because truly, deeply right down inside me, i know i wanna stay on in PHS. my beloved friends will know why! i have lots of reasons to WANT to stay on in PHS! i have lots of reasons why i want to go off quick too! Time fliers real fast! my beloved friends, my beloved 'brothers and sisters' yea...all my good and bad memories are all in there.. (:

i just wanna cherish every moment i spend with them right now! NOTHING IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT AND MUCH MORE SPECIAL THAN THAT! (: even if i am only able to see them once or twice in school, say a hi and bye once or just twice, its enough. ENOUGH to make me smile.

yesterday i nearly quarreled with you know who. yea.. of course its you know who. hahas. she was like " you going TP OPEN HOUSE?" and i was like "err.. yea.. of course! it'll be fun! i'm going with natasha and my friends."
and she went" i thought you said you wanted to go to JC?"
EFFING HELL!! i'm somehow just going to a OPEN HOUSE! its not as though i'm gonna make a decision so darn fast! WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER! and she was like " I WANT YOU TO GO JC! JC is much easier for you! Life would be better there.. bla bla bla" *cut off!* just in case she pisses the people who are reading my blog off too!

i really do not know what i want. But all i know is i wanna take media design in poly and maybe not go to some JCs i don't like! i know stephy and lots of my friends are telling me stuffs like " GO JC! i think at least you can make it into IJ?"
FREAKING HELL NO WAY! if i wanna go JC! i wanna either go SAJC or ACJC! you know me! i always want the best! i always ask for perfection in nearly everything! asking me to go to IJC is the same as asking me to go to hell and die there!
Many people will know my reason why i wanna go ACJC, but i guess i'll avoid that place for now. Anyway he's graduating soon (: so i guess i won't be able to see him then. so from now till then, ACJC is still an open option for me. Unless, i really cannot make it! yea.

somehow i wish like i really could do something about myself! HAVE SOME SAY IN THE FAMILY! and somehow just wish my words do at least have some erms.. influence i guess?
i know whatever i say, my parents will just go " NO! YOU'RE WRONG!" everything is " YOU'RE WRONG! I'M RIGHT!" whatsoever. its as though i've not finished my sentence and they have the condemnation thing going on already. effing irritated by them! worse comes to worst, whatever my brother says, they'll go " SEE! your brother thinks much better than you! he is smarter than you! he makes much wiser decision than you!" yea yea.. whatsoever! LIKE DO I EVEN LOOK LIKE I CARE?
and the most important thing is - NOBODY FREAKING HELL CARES IF MY BROTHER IS HOME LATE! but, if i'm home late, they'll go " WHY MUST YOU STUDY OUTSIDE? WHY CAN'T YOU STUDY AT HOME? am i transparent to you? don't you even treat me as your mother?"

WHICH PATHETIC SENTENCE OR ACTION PROVED THAT i do not treat her as my mother? im just so tired of her whinings and naggings! GIVE ME SOME PEACE MANS! im so tired and pissed off by her! somehow, i just wish something or someone could change this thing which is so HAPPENING TO ME!!! like maybe an earthquake? or maybe even erms.. tsunami?